Have you ever opened your mouth to vent a viewpoint in a way that left you feeling later on that you could have picked your moment (and ‘mood’) better – maybe even waited for a more appropriate opportunity to voice your feelings?
Murray Smith
Perhaps in hindsight you’ve reconsidered your wisdom in speaking out, realising that remaining silent on occasions may have been better?
There is of course going to be a ‘right’ time to speak out… but there’s a right time to listen and learn too. I grew up being told I had two ears and one mouth for good reason… it was to listen twice as much as I talked. We’re prone to form strong opinions on the basis of receiving information that can at best be incomplete and at worst be untrue… the scary thing about that is forming emotional responses on inaccurate narratives.
Accepting that we do not possess perfect objectivity or full understanding of situations ought to temper our need to give others the benefit of our wisdom and rushing into being swift and forthright proclaimers of our opinions. There’s a Bible verse that addresses this very succinctly proposing, “Let everyone be swift to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger…” (James 1:19)
With these thoughts in mind, I’m offering an acronym based on the word, ‘think’ which I learned years ago. It has often helped me to govern and determine when and how to ‘speak out’…here it is…
T stands for, ‘is it true’? Right here is a brilliant moderator for exercising wisdom and humility before we open our mouths, put pen to paper, or launch a keyboard assault.
Are we sure we are in possession of the whole truth and all the facts?
H stands for, ‘is it helpful’? Will what we wish to say contribute to promoting peace and harmony? Will what I have to say offer constructive, redemptive and restorative solutions in circumstances that are broken and disordered? Or will it belittle and dismantle, without providing anything that edifies and uplifts?
I stands for, ‘is it inspiring’? In a world full of disagreement, bad news and criticism, it’s so good to actually come across words that encourage us higher, to be better people… words that urge us to reject bitter arguments that isolate and alienate.
N stands for, ‘is it necessary?’ That’s a good question. Is saying my piece going to contribute anything worthwhile or of value? Or is it just me needing to feel I have to vent my spleen in making myself heard since what I have to say is imperative for everyone to know?
K stands for, ‘is it kind?’ Our culture needs to see more models of genuine kindness than what have been promoted. Kindness that relinquishes ‘self-love’ in order to seek the highest good of others. Seeking the best interests of others is somewhat ‘counter- cultural’ inasmuch as we’re conditioned to put ourselves first. Truly accepting others ought not be conditional upon them being like us – leading us to being less than gracious and uncaring in our walk and our talk.
That’s it …let’s think before we frame our words and open our mouths.
